That's what our comic pilot said as we descended towards San Francisco yesterday afternoon. I am sitting at 6.44am having been up over an hour, in fog-bound SF listening to the noises of the apartment and the city outside. I've been staying in some very quiet places over the last few weeks - cottages deep in Welsh valleys, large houses high on Hampshire hills surrounded by farmland - no fire stations, traffic, trams or enormous American fridges. But I'm not complaining. We were met at the airport by our friend, Gilles, who also dropped us off at the airport when we left (big big thank you - being collected makes it so much easier and more pleasant).
And this time around United wasn't so bad. Somehow we ended up in Premier Economy or Economy Plus or More Legroom and Bottom Wriggle Land. So the girls and I had a good flight with space for my long legs and room to snuggle up. I watched three films, read Bill Bryson's book on the UK and cuddled my kids.
Meanwhile Tom was sat next to the child from hell. A two year old munchkin who had already climbed all over furniture and desks and whatnot before he even got onto the plane, accompanied by the most uninterested adult who had next to no control over him. The stewards had to escort him back to her after he'd wandered off twice and had a severe word with her, not that that made a lot of difference. One feisty stewardess told me she was all in favour of putting the pest in the overhead compartments. Which cheered Tom and I up - there's something very reassuring about hearing the stewards making dark comments about some of the passengers instead of always being sweetness and light. They couldn't do anything of course, but at least we knew they were suffering too. After several hours of the clambering kicking pest jumping on top of the seats, him and the table, Tom was delighted when Evil Munchkin plunged head-first between the seats having missed the table. Sadly he survived but he did fall asleep. Last seen still annoying his parent by refusing to leave the immigration hall.
So here we are. Breakfast was a lovely banana and walnut bread (thank you Sophie!) with fresh coffee. Breakfast was also shortly before 6am. I have a ton of laundry to do, some shopping and there are many PTA emails to look at and try to decipher with my jetlagged brain. Post consisted of bank statements and bills. So this must be home!